Am I breaking up with To Do lists? Maybe? I'm definitely breaking up with the idea that my self-worth can come from getting everything on my list checked off. Life is more than a series of things that need to get done. Life is hiding in the little details and moments that happen as you do the things on your list.
Crunching into a pile of leaves on the sidewalk on a gorgeous summer morning was a reminder that - whether I like it or not - change is coming. In fact, it's been coming all the while. But just because I've acknowledged that fall is coming, doesn't mean I need to rush into it. I can take this change as slowly as it is happening.
This summer I find that rather than yearning for amazing experiences, I am most looking forward to embracing the chance to exhale and relax into my ordinary life. There is something very settling about doing simple things that I can watch unfold over weeks and months.
I recently turned 59. Realizing that my last 3 years-that-ended-with-nine contained significant life milestones caused me to panic for a second. Then I thought, "What if enjoying being 59 is enough? That way this will be a darn good year no matter what does or does not happen."
The summer after my brother died, something deep within me learned the power of adjusting the aperture of my awareness. Keeping my metaphorical lens as small as possible helped me realize that - moment to moment - I was OK. This same strategy is helping me to feel more settled and calm in the wake of the national and global chaos of the last months.
I've always been in awe of people who can fix things and make things. Until this week IKEA shelves were the extent of my handy-ness. But now I know how to use an orbital sander and - it surprises me as I bet it will surprise you - I have brand new mindfulness practice to help keep me in the present moment.
My first real trip was a sprint through Europe. I've learned over time that a more leisurely pace allows my travels to change me - which is all to say that the old adage might be right. It's not the destination but the journey itself that matters.
You and I will never not be distracted. This world will always be filled with too many wonderful and ridiculous distractions. But we can minimize the distractions we create for ourselves. Doing so, even for a moment, makes us feel centered and serene. It makes us feel “all in” - with nowhere else we’d rather be and nothing else we’d rather be doing.
I would have said that I'd gotten pretty good at catching myself when I'm beating myself up. Surprise! As we get better and better at practicing kindness or non-violence, the ways that we're mean to ourselves can get trickier and trickier to notice.