If you want to make God laugh, make plans
It was probably on the evening of our third day of vacation that I realized how relaxed I was. Interestingly, this was not a day that had gone according to plan, which (for me at least) is rarely relaxing. We were in Scotland, and while we knew that being in Scotland pretty much guaranteed that we would be wet at least some of the time, it turns out that we were also fairly convinced that we would get as lucky as my dad had when he spent 10 days there and never saw a cloud. This was not to be our experience.
Anyway, according to the plan, our third day was to be our big hiking day. We were in Glencoe (look it up, it’s gorgeous) and planned to hike The Three Sisters. It was raining sideways when we arrived at the visitor’s center. We were determined to be intrepid – “no weather can dampen our adventure!” We were so determined that it wasn’t until the lady at the information desk informed us that it wasn’t safe for even the most experienced Scottish hikers to be up in the hills in this weather that we even entertained the idea of a Plan B.
Plan B might be meant to be
We regrouped outside, took a breath, and decided to drive to the trailhead to see what the weather was like there. When we arrived the rain was still coming down hard. We zipped up our raincoats, snugged in the drawstrings of our hoods, and, instead of heading for the hills (which were hiding in the clouds), we set out for a very beautiful, very wet, walk through the valley created by the three “sister” mountains.
Hiking in the rain in the Scottish Highlands may not have been the plan, but it was a thousand times better than not hiking in the Scottish Highlands. It was so great that, even though we’d had to revamp our well-planned itinerary, and even though we were soaked-to-the-bone for most of the day, when we climbed into bed that night, I realized that I was – for the first time in a very long time – really, truly relaxed.
You get what you get and you don’t get upset
The rain continued for much of the week and, somehow, so did my sense of deep relaxation. As I wondered about this, I realized that we were living a mantra that our kids would come home from nursery school repeating: “You get what you get and you don’t get upset.” Each morning we would take a look at our plan. If we needed to, we would change course and, without thought of what we were no longer going to experience, we would (often while soaking wet) proceed to soak up whatever we were experiencing. Openness like this, it turns out, is profoundly relaxing.
It occurred to me that we might have stumbled across the secret to inner peace there in the Highlands and that, perhaps, I could bring a “wee bit” home with me. This would be especially handy as I knew already that my homecoming would not be peaceful. We are having some work done at home and as expected, when we arrived, the house was in complete and total upheaval. Sawdust everywhere and furniture nowhere. Very limited cooking and cleaning options. A (rightfully) stressed out dog.
Inspired by my vacation, as I continue to settle in, I find myself thinking, “You get what you get and you don’t get upset.” I know what needs to get done, so I wake up, walk the dog, water the garden and make sure I show up for my Zoom calls. And I know that I don’t know what else will need to get done each day so I simply say yes to any “Plan Bs” that come my way. “Yes” to answering the builders’ questions. “Yes” to making decisions on the fly. “Yes” to spending two unexpected days unpacking our belongings. In short, I am saying “Yes” to being flexible with any plans I might have so that I can say “Yes” to whatever does happen each day.
What will today bring? We shall see!
I’ve been home for over a week and am still saying, “Yes.” Am I as relaxed as I was in Scotland? I’m not going to lie – no. But this is real life and not vacation. But I will also note that I’m not feeling stressed, which is pretty much a miracle given that I’m living in a construction site.
Because I’m open and paying attention, each day offers an experience or two to soak up – a Plan B if you will. Daily trips to the market feel like an outing. Yoga on the patio because there is no space to practice indoors feels like a treat. Being inseparable from my dog is (mostly) sweet. Any of these things could be annoying but aren’t because I’m not comparing them to the way things were or the way they could be.
Not only am I contentedly “getting what I get,” but, so far, I haven’t found a single reason to “get upset.” As I learned in the Highlands, experiencing the messy, slightly chaotic life that I have is a thousand times better than struggling for a neat-and-tidy fiction of a life that I can pretend is under my control. Honestly? I’m pretty excited to see what unexpected “Plan B” today brings.
While you will not find a single secret to inner peace hiding in yoga philosophy any more than you will in the Highlands of Scotland, a practice of santosa (contentment) goes a long way (YS 2.42). It is acceptance of what is – without clinging to what you imagined or what you would have preferred to be. One way to experience contentment like this is by repeating to yourself the mantra my kids taught me – “You get what you get and you don’t get upset.” This mindset will serve you well whether you’re right here at home or far afield on vacation.