When you keep secret all the ways that you are a mess inside, you're not protecting your friends. You're preventing them from really knowing you. Share your stories - the sad ones and the mad ones and the super funny ones. Knowing you (warts and all) is, in the end, all that your true friends want.
Over the last 29 years I've had to learn and relearn that my children are my teachers -- and that they're teaching me the most important lessons and challenging lessons of my life.
This summer, I have spent hours watering, feeding, pruning, harvesting fruit and simply enjoying my garden. It's not surprising at all to realize that I'm tending to more than my plants out there. I am also taking gentle care of myself.
In Scotland, where the weather can be moody, you learn how relaxing it is to go with the flow. You learn the beauty of savoring what you get to do and not worrying at all about what you don't. I am trying to bring a "wee bit" of this is a mindset home with me.
Can you remember your first real friend? I recently found a picture of mine and the memories that had been tucked away with that lost photo filled with me joy. Friendship is one of the greatest gifts of life. If our friendships bring us so much joy, just imagine how good it could be to become our own friend! Plus when we figure out how to befriend ourselves, we're able to be an even better friend to our friends. It's a win-win!
We have a lot of experience living with adult kids. Though none of us would have chosen to be roommates, none of us would trade this time together either. I've learned through my practice that equanimity can not only get you through a lot of discomfort, but it can reveal glimmers of goodness as you do. Though living well with our kids again has taken some effort, we have shared treasured moments that we would never have had otherwise.
At endings such as graduations we feel like we have to know what's next. The reality is that the only thing we can be certain about is that the future is never certain. Rather than being daunting, this can inspire us to live with a sense of curiosity and wonder about all the twists and turns the marvelous story that is our lives could take!
I recently turned 59. Realizing that my last 3 years-that-ended-with-nine contained significant life milestones caused me to panic for a second. Then I thought, "What if enjoying being 59 is enough? That way this will be a darn good year no matter what does or does not happen."
I've always been in awe of people who can fix things and make things. Until this week IKEA shelves were the extent of my handy-ness. But now I know how to use an orbital sander and - it surprises me as I bet it will surprise you - I have brand new mindfulness practice to help keep me in the present moment.