If we're honest, most of the time most of us don't know or don't understand. What if, instead of seeing this as a weakness, we could view not knowing as a superpower? It is, you know. When we go into a class or a conversation knowing that we don't know, not only are we more fun to be around, but we have more fun because we get to keep learning!
I was born with a stubborn streak a mile wide and throughout my life, it has helped me get a whole lot done. Funnily enough, these days I'm leaning heavily on my stubborn streak not to get things done but to help me go with the flow.
All I thought I wanted was a little quiet, but instead of enjoying the calm when our home renovation workers didn't show up one day, I was nothing but an unsettled bundle of flummoxed frustration that my day wasn't going as expected.
A friend recently talked about expecting miracles. As I listened, I realized that I've gotten out of the habit of even hoping for miracles. Instead, I spend a lot of energy problem-solving problems that don't yet exist to make sure I'll be OK if things get messy. As much as I'd like to be brave enough to expect miracles, I don't think I'm ready (yet). But I do think I could take a deep breath and ask myself, "What if everything works out?"
Over the last 29 years I've had to learn and relearn that my children are my teachers -- and that they're teaching me the most important lessons and challenging lessons of my life.
In Scotland, where the weather can be moody, you learn how relaxing it is to go with the flow. You learn the beauty of savoring what you get to do and not worrying at all about what you don't. I am trying to bring a "wee bit" of this is a mindset home with me.
It can be hard to know what to do for someone who is hurting. Mostly, the right answer is to look for ways to love them. What does compassion like this look like? There are as many answers to this question as there are friendships. Trust that you'll know what to say or do because you love them.
We have a lot of experience living with adult kids. Though none of us would have chosen to be roommates, none of us would trade this time together either. I've learned through my practice that equanimity can not only get you through a lot of discomfort, but it can reveal glimmers of goodness as you do. Though living well with our kids again has taken some effort, we have shared treasured moments that we would never have had otherwise.
At endings such as graduations we feel like we have to know what's next. The reality is that the only thing we can be certain about is that the future is never certain. Rather than being daunting, this can inspire us to live with a sense of curiosity and wonder about all the twists and turns the marvelous story that is our lives could take!