“Not everything that is faced can be changed; but nothing can be changed that is not faced.” – James Baldwin, American writer and civil rights activist
There is so much bad news lately
I don’t know about you, but lately I cannot seem to tear myself away from the news. Though I have long prided myself on being “free” from the shackles of my phone, the last two weeks I have found it in my hand almost all day long. When I’m not fearfully scrolling to see what else has happened, I am numbing my upset and unsettled mind with games of Sudoku. When these games are over, I quickly scroll again.
But the news is not all that is going on in my small corner of the world. Bear with me, please. I am not minimizing what is happening in the world. I am trying to broaden the aperture. I am trying to stay deliberately aware that precious bits of life that merit my attention are also happening right here and right now.
It’s not all bad news if you take a closer look
Here are a few examples of life that are worthy of my notice – the opportunity to have long and wide-ranging conversations with the lovely friends who fill my daughter’s life during her weekend-long birthday celebration. The rare chance to prepare dinner with my husband the way we did in the early days of our marriage. My dog leaning heavily on my leg as he gazes up at me with his soulful eyes. Allowing music to wash over me during a Philadelphia Orchestra concert.
This list does not cancel out any of the current events that are upsetting me. But it does help me to remember that there is both light and dark in my life. This is true not only for this news cycle. This has always been the case and this always will be the case. Our work is to hold them together; to not allow one to overcome the other. Our work is to live with all of these things as they are.
We need to notice both the tough stuff and the good stuff
I don’t know why it’s true that the human mind clings to the negative or at the very least allows it to overshadow the positive, but I know this has been true for a very long time. For thousands of years, yoga teachers have taught that when we find ourselves ensnared in negative feelings, we are to “cultivate opposite.” Please know that we are NOT taught to ignore the negative. We are meant to be firmly grounded in reality as it is – which sometimes is negative.
We are taught to notice the hard stuff, to be aware of it, to face it. We are taught to remember that these happenings and the feelings they elicit are not who we are. When left to run amok, they are damaging to life – they create ignorance and suffering. We are, each and every one of us, made of light and life. We are made by love for love. Remembering this as we face whatever is upsetting us is how we “cultivate the opposite.” With steady practice, over time, this remembering shifts the way we experience our lives.
How do we do this? My friend’s rabbi, Ron Shulman, sent out an email message that resonated deeply with me. In it, he encourages the members of his community to “apprehend as sacred the common experiences of what moves us each day.” In times like ours, this encouragement to keen awareness feels necessary. It feels critical that we see deeper meaning in what we do, because, for most of us, embracing our lives with love is all we can do to help mitigate the suffering we are witnessing day in and day out in the news.
For me, this has been a two-fold invitation. First, it has felt necessary for me to stay informed, but no longer from an all-day constant phone-driven “drip.” I am now trying to limit myself to regular, measured doses of news once or twice a day. Second, it has felt even more necessary to notice the bright moments and to treasure them.
Even in dark times, we need to allow the light moments to shape the way we live
Later in his letter, Rabbi Shulman goes on to suggest that we can allow our cultivated awareness of the good in our lives, which he describes as a reflection of God, to shape how we live. When I can put my phone down and stretch my aching heart open enough to notice that, in addition to the fear and worry and uncertainty churning within me, I am graced by sweet moments, beautiful moments, and loving moments, I am absolutely better able to lead with the lightness of those moments as I move through my day.
In short, I don’t have to do the impossibly hard work of changing the darkness of this world (at least not today). Nor do I have to do the hard work of changing my upset self just now when I’m feeling depleted. All I am asked to do is to notice tiny examples of the opposite of that which is upsetting me and allow them equal space in my heart. Just noticing, just being aware of the beauty around us will give us the strength and the resilience to continue to steadily face this world of ours with open eyes and open hearts.
Doing this is enough for now. It really is.
A couple of ancient wisdom sources inspired this essay. Most obviously, The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, written around 300 BCE – specifically sutras 1.33 and 1.34 – which I refer to above. This ancient teaching is echoed by the sixteenth century teaching of Ignatius of Loyola in his 19th Annotation of the Spiritual Exercises in which he suggests when we’re upset, we are to stand firm and constant in the intentions and mindsets that guided us before we became unsettled.