The season of giving
When I was younger, I spent a lot of energy this time of year thinking about presents that my loved ones could give me that would give me joy. As I got a little older, I spent more of my time and energy thinking of gifts I could give that would bring my loved ones joy. In doing so, I discovered how much joy giving gives me. I am sure the same is true for you.
But what if joy was something we didn’t have to wait to receive? What if joy was something that we could seek and even create for ourselves? If we were more joyful people, wouldn’t we also, as a matter of course, be more generous and caring? And, if giving, indeed, makes us joyful, wouldn’t we be even more joyful?
Seeking joy is a gift we give ourselves
I have a friend who decided that she would spend her retirement seeking joy. It has been inspiring to witness her living into her intention. She has found joy in little moments at home cuddled up with her cat. She has found joy gardening with her adult children. She has found joy adventuring in places she’s never before visited. She has found joy sitting on a beach she’s visited many times.
Recently, without half the intention and mindfulness of my friend, I surprised myself by impulsively buying two tickets to attend a live recording of the podcast, On Being. I have spent an extraordinary amount of time with host, Krista Tippet (she doesn’t know it, but she walks the dogs with me many times a week), and have received countless gifts from her wise and wide-ranging conversations about what it is to be a human being who is trying to become a better human being.
In early November, when I received an email from On Being announcing that Krista would be live in New York City, I didn’t stop to think. I clicked on the link and bought two remarkably inexpensive tickets. Then I danced around the kitchen with joy. My excitement lasted the entire month. I woke up the morning of the event feeling like a kid on Christmas morning – “Is it today?” “Is it finally here?” “Squeeeeeee!”
No one knows better than you what will bring you joy
This was a gift only I could have given myself. No one in the world (not even my husband!) would have known the joy these tickets would bring me. In giving this gift to myself, I realized that joy is something I can choose. And in choosing it for myself, I could also share it the way I did by inviting a friend to join me for what wound up being a pretty perfect day.
Though this particular joy involved a field trip, like my inspiring friend, in the days since I have discovered that choosing joy doesn’t have to involve even leaving the house. For example, I found myself singing along pretty joyfully as I enjoyed the music on another podcast (Sing for Joy) that I listen to on Sunday mornings as I water my plants. I laughed until I cried at something silly my youngest said at the dinner table. I felt full to bursting as I made cookies with my husband and my middle child. If this is a joy-hangover, sign me up for more!
Joy is a perspective, a stance, a practice
Seriously, though. Joy does not need a season or festivities to make itself known. Joy can be a perspective we choose. It can be a stance that we take. It can be a practice that we do. It can be exciting and it can be quiet. If you, like me choose to explore joy over the coming months, I trust that you will discover that it can be present even when your heart is aching. In fact, you might find that you are even more susceptible to joy when many other things are hard for you.
By choosing joy, without even meaning to, we will spread joy
I suspect that my friend would find joy in the fact that, in seeking joy herself, she inspired me to do the same. And I am finding such joy in paying it forward by sharing her idea with each of you. Take a moment and ponder what you could do right now that would give you a little joy. Now, in this season of giving, give yourself the joy of doing it!
PS If you think of it, to complete the circle of joy, it would bring me joy to learn what you did to give yourself joy.
The word yoga is a Sanskrit word that means to connect or to unite. As we practice, we begin to discover how good we feel when our outer selves (the things we do in life) are in union with our inner selves (the qualities and things that matter deeply to us). Such integration brings us joy. We can create little bursts of this feeling by following the nudges of our hearts when we choose to give ourselves the gift of something that brings us joy.