Feeling a little over-stimulated lately? Me too
My daughter asked me, as we passed in the driveway, her on her way to work, me returning from a morning walk with the dog, “Why did you leave your phone at home?” Without hesitating, I responded, “I’ve been a little over-stimulated lately and needed some quiet.”
I’m always grateful for moments like that. Until she posed her question, I had not considered at all how I’d been feeling that morning. I just knew that the thought of putting my AirPods in and listening to someone else’s voice for an hour made me twitchy so I had headed off without them or my phone.
Looking back, I realize that I’ve taken more quiet walks than not in the last two weeks, which is surprising given how much I love listening to podcasts while I walk. It is so great to start the day with a little dose of wisdom and inspiration. Nevertheless, it hasn’t felt like a good idea lately.
I feel kind of like a turtle who has found herself in a race
This summer, for me, was remarkably quiet. I spent an awful lot of the time with my dog and my plants, none of whom are particularly chatty. I also found myself on my yoga mat on my patio at least five days a week. Looking back, I see that I really leaned into the quiet this summer, not only because I’m an introvert who is nurtured by “alone time,” but because I needed to heal from the inner and outer chaos of the last few years.
In addition to soaking in the quiet, this summer I’ve been able to maintain a slower pace. Since May, most mornings have been mine to do as I pleased. Now, however, I’m back on a schedule. There are suddenly (though not surprisingly) places I need to be, things I need to do, and people I need (and want) to see.
In addition to getting to spend two mornings a week with forty university students discussing yoga philosophy and leading yoga practice, my friends are back in town from their various summer adventures and eager to catch up by getting together for a walk. Suddenly my days are happily filled with conversation and connection. Suddenly, I’m alone and quiet (in my sneakers and on my yoga mat) a whole lot less than I’d gotten used to over the last few months.
Changing gears like this needs to be done with some finesse
It’s no wonder my knee-jerk answer to my daughter’s question was that I’ve been feeling overstimulated. It is the suddenness of the shift in my daily rhythms that is leaving me feeling twitchy. My choice of quiet morning walks is a way of getting out in front of my overwhelm before it overwhelms me. These walks are a way of finding some balance through this transition.
Not only is this mostly subconscious solution helping, but it is a clear sign that my yoga practice is indeed affecting the way I’m living my life. Over the years, I’ve learned that a quick, strong reaction will almost always knock me over when I’m wobbling in Vrkasana (tree pose). What works best to stabilize me in the posture is a subtle readjustment like relaxing my foot or engaging my core.
Because I’m an introvert, it would have been entirely natural for me to default to my habitual, rather dramatic reaction to feelings of overwhelm and pull back into my “turtle shell.” Yet I’m not doing that at all. Something deeper within me than my bossy introvert knows that the connections in my life – personal and professional – are a hundred percent good and life-giving. The way back to feeling balanced has been one small change that no one other than me (and my daughter) would even notice.
Balance is a verb
Each time I leave my phone and podcasts behind as I head out of the door with my dog, I am gently readjusting to happy, busier days. Quieter morning walks allow me to find the solitude that I need when it’s least lonely and most healing – in the early mornings as I greet the day. They leave me restored and energized to jump into this more extroverted season.
I wonder what other little tweaks I will notice myself making consciously and unconsciously as the seasons continue to unfold. What I know for sure is that I will be making them. After all, balance isn’t something I’m going to achieve once and for all. It’s a process of wobbling and finding center over and over again, just as I’ve learned from standing in Tree Pose.
What little adjustments do you make to stay balanced as you shift into the faster pace and fuller days of autumn? I’d love to know.
Thanks to Bill Ecklund for the original image used in this photo.
Patanjali introduces us to the graceful, subtle practice of balance or moderation in Yoga Sutra 2.38. A practice of bramacarya produces vitality, he teaches. In his book, The Heart of Yoga, T.K.V. Desikachar explains, “Too much of anything brings problems. Too little may be inadequate.” In my case, what I experienced as over-stimulation was actually a shortage of quiet time. Just a few more minutes of quiet in the early mornings was all I needed to gently bring me back into balance so that I can savor the rich connections in my life.