This summer, I have spent hours watering, feeding, pruning, harvesting fruit and simply enjoying my garden. It’s not surprising at all to realize that I’m tending to more than my plants out there. I am also taking gentle care of myself.
In Scotland, where the weather can be moody, you learn how relaxing it is to go with the flow. You learn the beauty of savoring what you get to do and not worrying at all about what you don’t. I am trying to bring a “wee bit” of this is a mindset home with me.
Did you know that delight is contagious? The delight we feel when we see someone being delighted can be even more delightful than our own delight. “Second hand” delight is free and easy. So pay attention – if you’re lucky, you’ll “catch” someone else’s happy moment.
It can be hard to know what to do for someone who is hurting. Mostly, the right answer is to look for ways to love them. What does compassion like this look like? There are as many answers to this question as there are friendships. Trust that you’ll know what to say or do because you love them.
Can you remember your first real friend? I recently found a picture of mine and the memories that had been tucked away with that lost photo filled with me joy. Friendship is one of the greatest gifts of life. If our friendships bring us so much joy, just imagine how good it could be to become our own friend! Plus when we figure out how to befriend ourselves, we’re able to be an even better friend to our friends. It’s a win-win!
We have a lot of experience living with adult kids. Though none of us would have chosen to be roommates, none of us would trade this time together either. I’ve learned through my practice that equanimity can not only get you through a lot of discomfort, but it can reveal glimmers of goodness as you do. Though living well with our kids again has taken some effort, we have shared treasured moments that we would never have had otherwise.
This summer I find that rather than yearning for amazing experiences, I am most looking forward to embracing the chance to exhale and relax into my ordinary life. There is something very settling about doing simple things that I can watch unfold over weeks and months.
At endings such as graduations we feel like we have to know what’s next. The reality is that the only thing we can be certain about is that the future is never certain. Rather than being daunting, this can inspire us to live with a sense of curiosity and wonder about all the twists and turns the marvelous story that is our lives could take!
I recently turned 59. Realizing that my last 3 years-that-ended-with-nine contained significant life milestones caused me to panic for a second. Then I thought, “What if enjoying being 59 is enough? That way this will be a darn good year no matter what does or does not happen.”